A practice in sincerity, a training in sharing.

  • 17 10 2014
  • The very last summer snapshot.

    katharina krug visuals

  • 29 09 2014
  • „Freiheit ist eine Gegenfigur des Zwanges. Wenn man den Zwang, dem man unbewusst unterworfen ist, als Freiheit empfindet, ist das das Ende der Freiheit. Deshalb sind wir in einer Krise. Die Krise der Freiheit besteht darin, dass wir den Zwang als Freiheit wahrnehmen. Da ist kein Widerstand möglich. Wenn Sie mich zu etwas zwingen, kann ich mich gegen diesen äußeren Zwang wehren. Aber wenn kein Gegenüber mehr da ist, das mich zu etwas zwingt, dann ist kein Widerstand möglich. Deshalb lautet das Motto, das ich meinem Buch als Motto vorangestellt habe: "Protect me from what I want." Der berühmte Satz der Künstlerin Jenny Holzer.”

    — Byung-Chul Han in Tut mir leid, aber das sind Tatsachen,
    Interview Zeit Online

    soaked in words visuals katharina krug byung-chul han

  • 26 09 2014
  • I learned to protect my energy, something that now serves me well in midlife. I learned to take better care of myself. I learned to devote my time to things that reinvigorated me, to things that were important. Write a paragraph in my journal. This person, not that. A bath and not makeup…

    —From the beautiful essay I Had A Stroke With 33 by Christine Hyung-Oak Lee

    soaked in words christine hyung-oak lee

  • 15 09 2014
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    Due to the fact that my sleeping pattern is messed up I am sitting in the kitchen at an ungodly time reminiscing about the past 3 months since I moved to Berlin. Thinking about what actually happened and changed in my life since then I’m slowly coming to the realization that against my own expectations I am already able to cross off a few of my little goals for 2014. And by little I mean low-threshold goals, because in times when I wasn’t able to wait in a cash line to buy my own groceries I couldn’t think of much beyond everyday’s trivial struggles. Imagining to pack my belongings and leave the city that held nothing but shady recollections and a lack of perspective seemed quite impossible at that time.

I was stuck badly. Struggling with my psychological and physical health I found myself lost and helpless, seeking to find balance again without any idea how to do that. Not that I was merely in pain, I actually became the pain. I gradually identified with my unfortunate position. Terrorizied by fear like I was, I chose to stick with what felt familiar and provided a false stability. Things became so intense and drastic that I was no longer in a position to negotiate. I had to move and for several reasons I chose to move physically first. I moved to Berlin.

    Since my arrival I cut myself some bangs, read lots of books, began journaling, started swimming, went to doctors, visited social events on my own, took a train journey. I’m acquiring new work experiences in a field I am not familiar with. I’m learning a lot about nutrition and cooking as I am adjusting my diet due to some intolerances and an irritable stomach. And I am riding my old shabby lilac bike everywhere. But yet, I am struggling with anxieties on a daily basis. Having more resources to choose from, at least some days I am doing better.

    Through journaling and reading I am learning a lot of new things. Layer by layer I am going through the struggle at my own pace. I am surprised by what I find underneath what often feels like the last layer. It can be difficult to maintain an attitude of acceptance and trust through this whole process. The new, the unknown, that comes with change upsets me, feels unrelated yet. Though I’m desperate for change, most of the time I cannot adjust very well.

    What I find particularly helpful are the bits and pieces others share on the internet. Through my own process of change I begin to understand why sharing can be so important and sometimes helpful to others. Unfortunately this blog was left behind and kept quite neutral in a way that reflected my own inability to be open. So this is what I’d like to start here: a practice in sincerity, a training in sharing.

    step into anxiety personal katharina krug

  • 04 08 2014
  • That sometimes human beings have to just sit in one place and, like, hurt. That you will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do. That there is such a thing as raw, unalloyed, agendaless kindness. That it is possible to fall asleep during an anxiety attack. That concentrating on anything is very hard work.

    —David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest

    david foster wallace soaked in words novel

  • 31 07 2014
  • “Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting.

    And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign.

    When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breathe in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.”

    — Kalyn R. Livernois, The Winter Of The Air

    kalyn r. livernois soaked in words essay

  • 05 07 2014
  • "We may be happy enough with little if little is what we have come to expect, and we may be miserable with much when we have been taught to desire everything."

    – Alain de Botton, Status Anxiety

    visuals alain de botton katharina krug soaked in words

  • 12 06 2014
  • So können wir etwa denken bzw. sagen: ‚Dieses Problem, diese Thematik übersteigt entweder zum jetzigen Zeitpunkt oder für immer die Fähigkeiten unseres Gehirns.‘ Doch innerhalb dieser schlecht definierten, stets fließenden und womöglich zufälligen Grenzen ist Denken endlos, ohne organisch bedingten oder formell festgelegten Endpunkt. Es kann Vermutungen anstellen, zusammensetzen, sich etwas vorstellen, mit allem spielen (es gibt nichts Ernsthafteres und in gewisser Hinsicht Geheimnisvolleres als das Spiel), ohne zu wissen, ob es noch anderes gibt, geben könnte.

    —George Steiner, Warum Denken traurig macht

    george steiner soaked in words manifest

  • 11 06 2014
  • Perhaps we can define love, at once in its familial, sexual and worldly forms, as a kind of respect, a sensitivity on the part of one person to another’s existence. To be shown love is to feel ourselves the object of concern: our presence is noted, our name is registered, our views are listened to, our failings are treated with indulgence and our needs are ministered to. An under such care, we flourish.

    —Alain de Botton, Status Anxiety

    alain de botton status anxiety soaked in words

  • 09 05 2014
  • Er hat Folgendes geschrieben: ‚Der unreife Mensch kennzeichnet sich dadurch aus, dass er edel für eine Sache sterben will, der reife dadurch, dass er bescheiden für eine leben will.Er beugte sich herüber und reichte mir den Zettel. Ich las ihn gleich, nachdem er ihn mir gegeben hatte, dann dankte ich ihm und so und steckte ihn ein. Es war nett von ihm, sich diese ganze Mühe zu machen. Wirklich. Die Sache war bloß, mir war nicht besonders danach, mich zu konzentrieren. Mann, ich war auf einmal so verdammt müde.“

    – J. D. Salinger, Der Fänger im Roggen

    j. d. salinger photography katharina krug soaked in words novel

  • 12 03 2014
  • When I decided to stop writing about five years ago I [sat] down to reread the 31 books I’d published between 1959 and 2010. I wanted to see whether I’d wasted my time. You never can be sure, you know. My conclusion, after I’d finished, echoes the words spoken by an American boxing hero of mine, Joe Louis. He was world heavyweight champion from the time I was 4 until I was 16. He had been born in the Deep South, an impoverished black kid with no education to speak of, and even during the glory of the undefeated 12 years, when he defended his championship an astonishing 26 times, he stood aloof from language. So when he was asked upon his retirement about his long career, Joe sweetly summed it up in just 10 words.‘I did the best I could with what I had.’

    Philip Roth on his life as a writer.

    on writing philip roth soaked in words

  • 05 02 2014
  • Die Mechanismen in groben Zügen:

    1. Vor allem eins: dir selbst sei treu… „Es gibt nur einen richtigen Weg - nämlich meinen!“
    2. Die vier Spiele mit der Vergangenheit
    3. Misstrauen: Allem und Jedem - „Immer wenn ich an eine Ampel komme, ist sie rot.“
    4. „Vermeide alles, was möglicherweise eine Gefahr oder ein Problem darstellen könnte!“ Watzlawick weist darauf hin, dass der konsequente Versuch, ein Problem zu vermeiden, in Wahrheit zur Verewigung führt
    5. Selbsterfüllende Prophezeiung
    6. Vor Ankommen wird gewarnt - von George Bernard Shaw stammt der berühmte Aphorismus: „Im Leben gibt es zwei Tragödien. Die eine ist die Nichterfüllung eines Herzenswunsches. Die andere ist seine Erfüllung.“
    7. Wenn du mich wirklich liebtest, würdest du gern Knoblauch essen
    8. Wer mich liebt, mit dem stimmt etwas nicht - „Das Dilemma sieht folgendermaßen aus: ‘Ich achte mich selbst nicht, ich kann niemanden achten, der mich achtet. Ich kann nur jemanden achten, der mich nicht achtet.’“
    9. Edel sei der Mensch, hilfreich und gut
    10. Das Leben ist ein Nullsummenspiel - „Vom amerikanischen Psychologen Alan Watts stammt der Aphorismus, das Leben sei ein Spiel, dessen Spielregel Nr. 1 lautet: ‘Das ist kein Spiel, das ist todernst.“

    paul watzlawick soaked in words nonfiction

  • 11 01 2014

  • visuals katharina krug

  • 28 12 2013
  • 2014: go on reading, read more!, learn to become more comfortable with traveling, get well physically, take time coping with losses, better trust own feelings, protect self-worth, try out a work experience, write, initiate a photo project, choose an education, don’t forget to take paper and pencil out and to just draw. 

    visuals katharina krug personal step into anxiety

  • 28 12 2013
  • Als ich meine Wohnung aufschließe, sitzt der Tod auf meinem Bett, ich taumle. Ein Mann, der aussieht wie ich, dreißig Jahre älter: Unangemeldet ist mein Vater aus Hamburg angereist. Ich wußte nicht, daß er einen Schlüssel hat. Ich wußte nicht, daß er mir so ähnlich sieht.

    —Wolfgang Herrndorf (1965-2013), nach zu lesen auf seinem Blog Arbeit und Struktur. Am besten, man beginnt vornedie Dämmerung.

    soaked in words wolfgang herrndorf novel blog